So, my name's Asteron, and I'm finally out of this accursed elven jail. About fekktig time, too, I've been stuck in there for longer than I care to remember, and the fact that they enchant their soap to be extra slippery gets annoying.
I got out because an adventuring group known as the Inner Circle somehow managed to get entirely thrown in jail with me, with the exception of one member. The thief. Most ironic, I know. They know of a fellow by the name of Kai'el, who's a lawbreaker on a totally different scale from them, and upon hearing of this the Warden must have had a wardgasm or something, as she let us out, scot-free, solely on the belief that we would go after him. That Warden really is a stickler for law and order. I heard from the thief that one of her guards picked up and broke an old lady in half.
Zetsudai, the fairy archer, filled me in on the Inner Circle's history, as well as legends of some of its (supposed) previous incarnations. It all started off with a group of adventurers helping a young elven scout recover his wine that had been stolen from him. Adventurers being adventurers, this was all the excuse they needed to set off into the forest, start killing things, and taking their stuff. (Actually, they were also previously provoked by hobgoblins attacking the town, killing an unfortunate warlock who had aided the adventurers in defending it.) Jolly good show, I say. Kai'el was originally a member of their group. Anyway, a group of goblins had stolen the booze, so they went through the forest, killing goblins and spiders and who knows what else on their way to the booze. Oh, a sleeping panther too, which the elf woke up. From what I heard, the elf was a force of pure destruction. Pity they lost him.
They also found a group of cloaked people in the forest, who Kai'el offered to infiltrate, convincing us that he could blend in with them with his oh-how-goddamn-convenient cloak that he just happened to have. He didn't come back, surprise surprise. Around this time, they found a gnome of short stature and even shorter temper by the name of Sindri, who really didn't like being insulted, and would respond to insults, especially about his height, by knocking over the offender. Victims of the tiny man's knockdown included a dragonborn, the fairy archer, and a freaking dragon (but that's yet to come). He was looking for his friend Vraak, who had been captured by the hobgoblins, and was, to Sindri's understanding, a rival, not a total douchebag.
They explored further in, with their new ally, and came upon a holy-crap-is-that-really-a T-Rex, being bound by some kind of magic, and two Kai'els, commanding the hobgoblins around the T-Rex. The elf tried to sneak in, but was followed by the oh-my-gods-can-you-get-any-stupider paladin. The one as stealthy as the average catapult, wearing heavy jangling plate armour. Guess who lost the element of surprise? A short while and two what-the-hell-who-has-luck-this-bad near death experiences later, they had killed the mage disguised as Kai'el, driven off the real Kai'el, and repelled the released T-Rex, with a how-did-you-actually-use-it-for-something-useful sound illusion created by the gnome, simulating a T-Rex roar.
Then all that was left was a cave. Forward being the way to glory and treasure (for adventurers at least), and back being the way to town and all the boring things that occur in such places, they went forward into the cave, where they found Vraak tied up. Sindri, of course, shouted "Vraak!", alerting the cultists guarding him. They were quickly dispatched. It was at this point that they were attacked by a dragon. A dragon! Why do I miss out on all the fun? Fairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy tried talking to the dragon, apparently not realising that the point of dragons making hoards of treasure is so that you can kill the dragon and take their hoard for yourself. The battle, and with it hilarity, ensued. Eventually, when they were all lying on the ground, paralysed due to some weird plant that crew in the cave or dying, who should come but Kai'el, to save them, kill the dragon, and take his hoard.
To Be Continued.
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